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A note from mom.

Coconino.jpg http://www.geocities.com/trinityapp/ wrote this lovely article, and I thought it was worth sharing. My parents are horse lovers, which lead to me being a horse lover, and as all of you know, Maddy loves horses more than words can probably express. We've spent countless hours riding and caring for the horses together. Starting from the age of two Maddy was and continues to be happiest on a horse.

Sweet sixteen and growing up with a horse


My daughter turned sixteen years old today; which is a milestone for most people. Besides looking at baby photos and childhood trinkets with her, I took time to reflect on the young woman my daughter had become and the choices she would face in the future. As I looked at her I could see the athlete she was, and determined woman she would soon be.
I started thinking about some the girls we knew in our town who were already pregnant, pierced in several places, hair every color under the sun, drop outs, drug addicts and on the fast track to no where, seeking surface identities because they had no inner self esteem. The parents of these same girls have asked me why I "waste" the money on horses so my daughter can ride. I'm told she will grow out of it, lose interest, discover boys and all kinds of things that try to pin the current generation's "slacker” label on my child. I don't think it will happen, I think she will love and have horses all her life.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she has compassion. She knows that we must take special care of the very young and the very old. We must make sure those without voices to speak of their pain are still cared for.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she learned responsibility for others than herself. She learned that regardless of the weather you must still care for those you have the stewardship of. There are no “days off” just because you don't feel like being a horse owner that day. She learned that for every hour of fun you have there are days of hard slogging work you must do first.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she learned not to be afraid of getting dirty and that appearances don't matter to most of the breathing things in the world we live in. Horses do not care about designer clothes, jewelry, pretty hairdos or anything else we put on our bodies to try to impress others. What a horse cares about are your abilities to work within his natural world, he doesn’t care if you're wearing $80.00 jeans while you do it.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she learned about sex and how it can both enrich and complicate lives. She learned that it only takes one time to produce a baby, and the only way to ensure babies aren't produced is not to breed. She learned how babies are planned, made, born and, sadly, sometimes die before reaching their potential. She learned how sleepless nights and trying to outsmart a crafty old broodmare could result in getting to see, as non-horse owning people rarely do, the birth of a true miracle.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she understands the value of money. Every dollar can be translated into bales of hay, bags of feed or farrier visits. Purchasing non-necessities during lean times can mean the difference between feed and good care, or neglect and starvation. She has learned to judge the level of her care against the care she sees provided by others and to make sure her standards never lower, and only increase as her knowledge grows.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she has learned to learn on her own. She has had teachers that cannot speak, nor write, nor communicate beyond body language and reactions. She has had to learn to “read” her surroundings for both safe and unsafe objects, to look for hazards where others might only see a pretty meadow. She has learned to judge people as she judges horses. She looks beyond appearances and trappings to see what is within.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she has learned sportsmanship to a high degree. Everyone that competes fairly is a winner. Trophies and ribbons may prove someone a winner, but they do not prove someone is a horseman. She has also learned that some people will do anything to win, regardless of who it hurts. She knows that those who will cheat in the show ring will also cheat in every other aspect of their life and are not to be trusted.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she has self-esteem and an engaging personality. She can talk to anyone she meets with confidence, because she has to express herself to her horse with more than words. She knows the satisfaction of controlling and teaching a 1000 pound animal that will yield willingly to her gentle touch and ignore the more forceful and inept handling of those stronger than she is. She holds herself with poise and professionalism in the company of those far older than herself.
Because my daughter grew up with horses she has learned to plan ahead. She knows that choices made today can effect what happens five years down the road. She knows that you cannot care for and protect you investments without savings to fall back on. She knows the value of land and buildings. And that caring for you vehicle can mean the difference between easy travel or being stranded on the side of the road with a four horse trailer on a hot day.
When I look at what she has learned and what it will help her become, I can honestly say that I haven't “wasted” a penny on providing her with horses. I only wish that all children had the same opportunities to learn these lessons from horses before setting out on the road to adulthood.

Reader Comments (25)

Horses are fine and I'm usually fine with them, but my daughter doesn't need them. She's a compassionate, thoughtful person and I'm incredibly proud of her. If it's the horses that made some small contribution to the person she is.. well, then they're OK with me and I'll look past the 'everything-we-own-smells-like-horse... but she didn't need them. She's fantastic as a person all on her own.
That's ok dad. I'm a grown-up second generation horsewoman myself and I too can testify that all of my best character traits were developed on a horse. It's a passion I learned from my mom, something that keeps us very close even as adults. My dad doesn't get it either, but he was still always happy to drive the horse trailer and hang out at horse shows. And that's all that matters. ;-)
02.12 | Unregistered CommenterJackie
That was brilliant! I agree with what that mom had to say. There were times growing up when I did not make the best choices but what kept me from making life changing decisons was the thought of losing what ever lease I was in at the time. My parents didn't get it either when I was growing up, and they still don't get it now, but that is okay becuase they don't need too. Having horses in you life and being a true horse person and not just some weekend rider will help you deal with all other aspects of life.
02.12 | Unregistered CommenterOn the Bit
Maddy you have a cool Mom. What a great letter. I feel the same way about growing up with horses. They make us who we are and shape us for everything we do in our lives.
02.12 | Unregistered Commenterphotogchic
check this horse out Maddy! doesn't she remind you kinda of Lady?
http://www.horseville.com/php/view.php?id=130497&a=5289
The love of horses is something you are born with (or not).
My brother and I grew up around horses and there is no finer companion animal.
Horses either like you, or they don't.
I got on a strange horse (ONE time) and he took off with me and there was no stopping him he ran right into the barn door and wanted me off right then.(he made it abundantly clear)!
I'm getting ready to retire and my wife and I are looking forward to having horses again!
A childhood relationship with a horse is just one of those things you can't put a price tag on!
Todd
Beautiful! I am sure that the horses have contributed greatly to who you are today and who you will become. But I bet that you are wonderful and special anyway.

If only my own parents had given me what your parents have given you. What opportunities they have provided for you!

My dream growing up was to live on a farm and care for lots of animals. But my parents didnt even like dogs. They did let me have a rabbit outside once, but one day it somehow disappeared....that seemed to happen alot to any pets we happened to get, while I grew up, too.

Instead of learning how to take care of animals and keep busy and focused on that, I got into trouble with boys, drugs, and alcohol. My parents both worked full-time and I was a latch key kid from the time I was 11 years old. I hated being alone all the time with nothing to do but homework aferschool and the house to clean each weekend.

I wish I had been given the job of making sure our animals were fed, groomed and cared for each day.

I know it would have changed my life, too.
02.20 | Unregistered CommenterTwinville2
That is beautiful. My daughter is mildly ADD, the horses have always helped her focus and organization. While I believe she is and would have been a wonderful kid anyway, the resposibility of taking care of animals, horses in particular teaches kids the meaning of responsibility and compassion on a much deeper level than anything else I can think of.
Thank you for sharing that letter.
02.21 | Unregistered CommenterLaTonne
I wrote the above essay for my daughter on her 16th birthday. Somehow it has traveled the entire internet. I am glad that so many people identify with it and understand what I was trying to convey.
I would appreciate it though if my name would be left on as author, since the work is copyrighted to me, as well as my website address www.trinityapp.com
I have more educational horse articles on my website at http://www.geocities.com/trinityapp/ including the original essay.

Please do not forward it without me being listed as author, since it is a copyrighted article.


I've had so many requests for posters and print outs of my daughter's essay that I've created an online store that features posters, mugs, shirts, keepsakes etc with the tribute pictured. Amy did the artwork, and we made versions for Appaloosa, Paint and plain wrapper horses. We can do any hair/horse color combo by special request. Let me know what you want and I can upload it.

I working on a tribute version for sons, since I've had several requests to tailor it more gender friendly and as soon as we get it worked up it will be listed too.

http://www.cafepress.com/trinityapp

Click over and take a peep!



Thank you,

Tracy Meisenbach
www.trinityapp.com
nice shots..
02.28 | Unregistered Commenterçeviri
I dont think my mom is able to do that..;)
03.5 | Unregistered Commentermac
Such a good story. Inspirational. To give a daughter a pet is a brilliant way to teach them how to appreciate life, how to respect life. Its a wonderful way to teach. Bravo!
03.8 | Unregistered Commenterart
Amazing...it reminds me of my mom back then in my hometown...she bought me a kitty that costs near a thousand just because I begged her to do so!!
03.10 | Unregistered Commenterart
great writing! very inspirational.wishing you and your daughter all the best
03.11 | Unregistered Commenterart
Dear Dad-

I didn't grow up with horses and I became a person who I was 7 years ago without them. I was successful, driven and but I lacked passion for my life's true calling. Today, after 7 years with horses, I am all the things I was before, but I am compassionate, tender, caring, aware and most importantly, happy. Because I know that even though today I go to work someday soon, I will be doing what I really love and that is helping people learn about horses.

I have a feeling your daughter would be an amazing young woman without horses-but with horses I bet she might just be a tad better. :)
It is enjoying watching the pictures. I love horses and I never get a chance to actually ride a horse on my own. I used to ride it in the zoo which of course only for a while.
The pics are so cool..A so sweet and unforgettable childhood for your children. :D
Beautiful pictures of your horse and you. Very beautiful and inspirational note from your mom too. I know you're going to turn out to be a brave, strong girl and never let her down.
05.19 | Unregistered Commentereasydiet
You are really kind mother tell the truth... anyway, your daughter shoot really nice!
05.19 | Unregistered Commentercondoms
Your daughter do have talent for riding horse! thats really a good take! You do really care on her don't you?
05.21 | Unregistered Commenterrake

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